


The Disaster Cabinet

by thescorpiondoctor



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Brainstorm leaves his door open, Brainstorm pushes the wrong button, Brainstorm's Inventions, Conveyor Cabinet, Gen, Nightbeat has to investigate everything, Nightbeat looking for mysteries, Swerve ignores a sign that says keep out, Swerve is too nosy for his own good, Swerve looking for engex, Teleportation, This can't possibly go wrong, Three bots get stuck in a cabinet, breaking the laws of physics, stuck in a closet, three idiots get stuck in a closet, what Brainstorm keeps in his closet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-18 10:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21509809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescorpiondoctor/pseuds/thescorpiondoctor
Summary: Brainstorm leaves the door to his laboratory open as he goes off to run an errand. When Swerve enters, he discovers a giant pink cabinet, which unbeknownst to him is Brainstorm's latest invention. Drawn in by the suspicion that Brainstorm might be keeping a really good stash of high grade or other similar contraband in the cabinet, and unable to ignore his curiosity, Swerve decides to sneak a peek and winds up getting locked in the cabinet. Upon hearing Swerve's cries for help, Nightbeat rushes to the scene to investigate, only to wind up in the same predicament as the motor mouthed mini-bot. When Brainstorm returns to check on his invention, the panicked pair pull him into the cabinet, trapping the mad genius within his own invention. Luckily, Brainstorm has the remote that controls the cabinet. If only he can remember which button unlocks the device. Problem is, it's too dark in there and Brainstorm accidentally presses the wrong button.What could possibly go wrong?Who am I kidding. It's one of Brainstorm's inventions. What you should be asking yourself is what could NOT possibly go wrong.
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a bit of a mix up from my usual writing style, but considering the cast of characters, I suppose it's only natural that ridiculous hi-jinks will ensue. I have a feeling I might be writing more ridiculous nonsense revolving around this disaster cabinet in the vague and undetermined future.

“Brainstorm? Yo! Brainstorm-! Y’here?” Swerve called out, rapping his fists against the open doorway of the mech’s laboratory. Upon receiving no answer, the red and white minibot shrugged and stepped inside the room, figuring that the mad scientist of a mech would not have left the door open if he was not in the room. 

“Brainstorm! Yo, Brainy?! Hello?” The motor-mouthed minibot continued to call. Still no answer. Swerve sighed to himself. “Y’know, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come to movie night, but seeing as you are either silent, invisible, or just outright ignoring me, I suppose I could pass that offer up to someone else.” he continued, before he noticed something shiny out of the corner of his optic. Something else shiny caught his eye, until eventually his optics had traveled all around the room and had glanced over all of the interesting shiny things in Brainstorm’s laboratory, almost all of which having labels of WORK IN PROGRESS and DO NOT TOUCH.

It was then that he noticed the very big, very tall, very neon pink storage cabinet in the corner of the room. The thing stood at around forty feet tall by twenty feet wide and had a huge sign on the door that read in big black letters: KEEP OUT. Of course, considering the fact that Brainstorm would not have put such a sign on anything boring that he wanted people getting into, Swerve’s curiosity was instantly piqued. Questions raced through his processor almost faster than how words sometimes raced out of his mouth, and he found himself mesmerized and intrigued by the nature of the giant pink box. It was like the thing was a giant present with his name on it, and if he opened it, it would magically reveal to him all of Brainstorm’s deepest, darkest secrets. 

A sign that said ‘KEEP OUT’ obviously meant that the maker of the sign wanted people to stay out of whatever it was that was on the inside. Swerve wanted in on whatever it was that Brainstorm could possibly be hiding. He rubbed his servos together in excitement, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching him. He knew that it was probably wrong, and that Brainstorm wanted people out of his cabinet for a reason, but he couldn’t help his curiosity. Slowly and cautiously, continuing to glance all around him to see if he was being watched, Swerve approached the cabinet. 

He knew he shouldn’t snoop, but Swerve felt drawn to the cabinet as if by some invisible magnetic force. As he reached the door of the cabinet, Swerve stared up at it in awe as if it was some great pink monolith that contained all the secrets of the universe, or at the very least a few cases of good high grade. What else would possibly be the purpose of such a giant cabinet, if not to store engex and possibly other forms of contraband that could get someone in serious trouble with Ultra Magnus if he were to discover its existence on the ship. There had to be something interesting in that cabinet, something mysterious and forbidden, something worth months of gossip and chatter. 

Swerve reached forward with shaky servos, standing on the tips of his pedes in an attempt to reach the handle. Even when he was standing as tall as he could, he couldn’t reach the handle, much to his chagrin. Another sign that Brainstorm probably did not want meddling minibots to mess with his closet of curiosities. Swerve huffed, crossing his arms over his chassis in discontent. There had to be some way to reach that doorknob, whether Brainstorm wanted him to or not. Swerve looked around the laboratory, quickly noticing a nearby empty crate that was just conveniently placed next to the base of the cabinet. 

With a triumphant cry of “AHA!”, Swerve overturned the crate and stood up on it, grasping the handle to the door of the cabinet. The door swung open with relative ease, and Swerve eagerly peered into the cabinet. Inside, the cabinet looked relatively empty. It was pitch black and there was no sign of shelves or the telltale glow of hidden engex. Swerve was thoroughly disappointed, but he decided not to give up at just the first glance. After all, it was quite possible that there was something in that closet, and Brainstorm had just invented a way to hide it and make it look like there was nothing. 

Without considering the consequences of his actions, Swerve grabbed hold of the door to the cabinet and stepped down from the metal crate, before he wandered inside the cabinet. “Huh...still nothing, eh, Brains?” he muttered, feeling around in the darkness. It was a relatively spacious cabinet, although regardless of how much Swerve stumbled around inside, it still seemed like there was nothing. After a minute of poking around inside the cabinet, there was a loud, long creeeeeak behind him, before the light faded and there was a loud click. 

“Uh-oh…” Swerve yelped, turning around to face the door, or at least, face where the door had once been. “Hello? Brainstorm-? Is that you out there-?” He asked, fumbling around in the darkness and pressing his servos against the door. There was no response. 

“Okay, okay, I get it. I was snooping and I shouldn’t have, and you shut the door on me. Very funny. I’ve learned my lesson. You can let me out now-!” He hollered, pressing his audial up against the door in an attempt to listen to what was going on outside the cabinet. He was answered with complete and utter silence. It would have been possible for him to hear a screw hit the floor if one had been dropped. All that he could hear were the inner workings of his internal mechanisms. 

Swerve let out a nervous chuckle. 

“You’re not mad at me, are ya’, Brainy? I wasn’t trying to get into anything. I just wanted to have a peek. C’mon, you know me. Can’t keep my head outta other bots’ business.” 

When there was still no reply, Swerve began to grow concerned that Brainstorm couldn’t hear him, and so he began to do the logical thing any bot trapped in a dark closet and scared out of their wits would do. That is, Swerve began screaming and pounding on the door. 

“BRAINSTORM LET ME OUT! BRAINSTORM?! HELLO? ANYONE OUT THERE? HELLOOOOOOO?! IT’S DARK IN HERE-!” 

And yet, there was still no response. Swerve persisted in his frantic hollering, pounding even harder on the door. 

“PLEASE-! ANYONE, I BEG OF YOU, LET ME OUT! HELLO? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? BRAINSTORM, IF THIS IS A PRANK, IT’S NOT A VERY GOOD ONE! PRANKS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY, AND THIS IS NOT FUNNY-! I’M NOT LAUGHING! DO YOU HEAR ME LAUGHING? HELLOOOOOOO? ANYONE? ANYONE OUT THERE? ANYONE AT ALL?!” 

He paused a moment to put an audial to the door and listen to the response. All he managed to hear was complete and utter silence. Swerve turned with his back to the door and crumpled to the ground, letting out a long sigh of frustration and disappointment. 

“YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON’T WANNA DIE IN HERE IF ANYONE IS LISTENING TO THIS.” He called out, staring into the darkness. It was at that point that he realized that he was resigned to his fate and that no one could hear him, and that his best bet was to sit down and wait for someone to walk by so that he could resume his frantic screaming.


	2. Chapter 2

Nightbeat was casually strolling through the hallway near Brainstorm’s laboratory before his audials happened to pick up a peculiar sound. Of course, being the fairly observant bot that he was, the yellow and royal blue mech paused in his tracks to listen to the sound. 

“YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON’T WANNA DIE IN HERE IF ANYONE IS LISTENING TO THIS” 

Nightbeat froze in his tracks, narrowing his optics. 

“Oh dear…” He muttered to himself, immediately following the sound, rounding a corner and finding the open doorway of Brainstorm’s laboratory. Usually the door was closed unless Brainstorm was in there, and so like Swerve he assumed that the scientist was present. Unlike Swerve, he paused at the threshold, analyzing the situation and debating whether or not he should enter. 

When the cries for help fell silent, Nightbeat gasped in alarm, automatically suspecting foul play. He knew that Brainstorm was one of the most notorious inventors in the Autobot army, with how he had a long standing record for his creations being turned down by the ethics committee, and so it was only natural for Nightbeat to suspect Brainstorm of having questionable practices regarding his inventions and experiments. The cries for help coming from Brainstorm’s laboratory that did not sound like they were coming from Brainstorm were a major cause for concern. 

Being the bot that he was, unable to resist a good mystery, Nightbeat sighed to himself and entered, studying the room and all of its unusual contents. His optics fell on the neon pink cabinet in the back of the room that had apparently resumed its screaming once it had noticed his entrance.

Swerve meanwhile was so relieved to hear footsteps outside his peculiar pink prison. He immediately began to continue his cacophonous cries, once again going back to pounding on the door. 

“HELP-! HELP! HELLO? I’M STUCK IN THE CLOSET-! IS SOMEONE OUT THERE-?! PLEASE ANSWER- IT’S DARK IN HERE AND I’M GETTING VERY BORED!” He hollered. 

Nightbeat sighed to himself and inspected the cabinet. Of course it had to be in Brainstorm’s laboratory, because where else on the lost light could there possibly be a screaming pink cabinet? And then there was the loud banging from inside the cabinet and the obvious cries of distress. Either Brainstorm had programmed a giant pink cabinet to scream at people, or there was someone trapped inside. 

“Hello-?” Nightbeat called back, giving the cabinet a skeptical stare. He read the ‘KEEP OUT’ sign on the door and then furrowed his brow. If Brainstorm had wanted to keep people out of the cabinet, he should have probably done a better job because as the evidence suggested, there was a person in the closet. 

“HELLO-?!” The voice from inside the cabinet answered back, pausing for a moment before adding, “WHO’S THERE-? CAN YOU LET ME OUT?!”

Nightbeat ran the voice through his processor, attempting to figure out who it sounded like the most out of all the bots he knew. When his processor found a match, he narrowed his optics and called out, “Swerve-? Is that you-?!”

“YEAH, IT’S ME-! WHO’D YOU THINK IT WAS, RODIMUS? TAILGATE? BRAINSTORM?! MEGATRON?!” Swerve interjected. 

Nightbeat furrowed his brow even further, determined to get to the bottom of the mystery of why Swerve was screaming for help in a huge pink closet thing in Brainstorm’s laboratory. He went quiet for a moment, before he asked, “What are you doing in there? You do know that Brainstorm dislikes bots messing with his stuff, right?”

“I couldn’t help myself-!” Swerve replied. “The sign said ‘keep out’, so naturally, it meant that Brainstorm was hiding something in here an’ so I decided to sneak a little peek. Just check for contraband and the like. Only thing is that when I went in for a little look-see, the door shut behind me, and ‘CLICK’! I was stuck. You wouldn’t happen to be able to open the door of this death trap and let me out, now would you? I’d really appreciate it.” 

Nightbeat was silent for a moment, studying the cabinet. “And you’re sure this whole thing won’t explode or do Primus knows what the second I open the door?”  
“I am over ninety percent positive that nothing will go wrong. Okay, maybe more around seventy percent, but it’s still in the upper percentiles. Nothing bad really happened when I opened the door, and I’m still talking to you, so obviously if this is some sort of doomsday device, either it already went off or I just haven’t accidentally set it off yet. Not sure what Brainstorm’s doing with a huge pink cabinet in his lab. If it were me I’d have picked purple. I thought he might be hiding some high grade in here, or maybe something extra interesting, so naturally I had to take a look. I just wasn’t expecting to get stuck.” Swerve yammered on. 

“How can you be so positive if you don’t know what it is or what it does?” Nightbeat asked. 

“Aw, trust me, I know. It’s probably not much more than a mini-bot trap or a gateway to some sort of pitch black void. I’m perfectly fine. It’s just dark in here. And surprisingly empty for a high grade closet. I was hoping that if ol’ Brainy made a trap for the likes of me, he’d at least include something to drink.” Swerve said, before adding, “Now will you please kindly let me out whoever you are? Ya’ don’t sound like Brainstorm. I’m guessing from the sound of your voice that you’re ah… Nightbreak, is it?”

“Nightbeat.” The yellow and royal blue bot corrected. “It’s Nightbeat.” 

“Ah, Nightbeat. I would’ve sworn I had it right. Oh well, at least I was half right. I used to know a bot named Nightbreak once. If I recall correctly, he had an accident with a goldfish and a thing called a dunk tank back on Earth, and they never saw him again. Or was that Nightlatch? Hmmm… I’m not sure. No, actually, I think Nightlatch was the bot who was the ex-enforcer who swore a vow of silence when his brother died. Interesting fellow, Nightlatch. Used to hang around this weird white bot, what’s his face, Plotter I think it was? Had this weird thing he did where he walked through walls? Oh no wait- I think Polter was his name. Anyways, Polter and Nightlatch were a part of this combiner team, Subversion I believe they were called. They had this one bot with them, Lancer, who was big and orange and liked throwing chains. Lancer was an aft. Oh, and then there was that big green and white one, really shy, turned into a pontoon plane and was always mumbling somethin’ ‘bout the stars. Ocean-something I think.. No wait! Seaglass! Yeah, Seaglass, that’s it. I heard from a friend of Polter’s that Seaglass had this processor glitch where he couldn’t be aggressive or something along those lines. It was awhile back. Anyways, I think those Subversion guys ran off at some point during the war, though I don’t quite recall when. Oh yeah! I think that Lancer guy got in a predicament similar to this one where he got stuck in a closet for a week and chewed on by some sort of odd mutated creature-person, though I only know ‘cause someone broadcast it to some universal space network. Although I wonder how that Lancer fellow got stuck in his closet. Hmm, oh well. I think he eventually got out, which isn’t the same as that one phrase that humans use about something along the lines of getting out of closets, and oh, hey-! That reminds me! I’m still in a closet. Can you please let me out?” The red and white mini bot rambled on, hardly stopping in between sentences before his words spilled over into the next train of thought. 

Nightbeat was silent for a long while, and Swerve began to wonder if his incessant chatter had scared him off. 

“Hello? Nightbeat? You still there?” Swerve asked, knocking against the door of the cabinet.

“Yes.” Nightbeat replied. 

“So… You ah.. Gonna help a mech out and open the door so I can come out of the cabinet?” Swerve asked. 

“I’m still thinking.” Nightbeat answered.

Swerve sighed and went back to talking. “Well, in that case, I’ll still be in here. Trapped. Alone. In the dark. Afraid. If you’re still even out there. Not that it’s too scary to be in closets, but this one is very dark. Huh. I wonder how many closets I’ve gotten trapped in in my life. I think I might have a record, considering how bots used to shove me in closets to try and get me to stop talking back in the day. Now those were fun times if I ever had any. Even when shoved in the closet, to their dismay, I just would not stop talking. I have a knack for talking if you haven’t noticed. I can go on for hours on end without getting tired or bored. I bet I have a record for going the longest without pausing between sentences and for the most words spoken in a certain time period, although I’ve never had it tested or measured because any bot I’ve asked to do so has quickly gotten bored of the sound of my voice. I’m just talented in that way.” 

“I don’t think there’d be any harm in letting out, although…. If I let you out, would you promise to shut up?” Nightbeat huffed, growing impatient at hearing the continuous sound of Swerve’s voice, only remaining in the room because he could not yet figure out what the cabinet was or what it did by just staring at it. 

“Whoah, now… I mean, I suppose I could promise to shut up for a little bit, but how long are we talking, because I really want to get outta her and am willing to make sacrifices and compromises, but if you ask too much of me then maybe I’ll just wait until Brainstorm gets back and lets me outta here himself, and maybe then I can unravel the great mystery of what this cabinet’s doing here, and why there’s no good high grade in it.” 

“Wait… Did you say ‘Mystery’?” Nightbeat asked, stepping closer to the closet, instantly more intrigued. He knew there was a mystery right in front of him, but Swerve mentioning it made him even more intrigued. Maybe the minibot would be useful in figuring out what the big pink cabinet did and what it was for. 

“Yeah, there’s a mystery in this cabinet. A mystery as to why it’s empty, or why it appears and looks and feels empty at least. There has to be something more to it.” Swerve replied. 

There was a click and a beam of light that fell upon the interior of the cabinet as Nightbeat poked his head inside. 

“Sweet freedom at last! Although, I don’t suppose that maybe there’s a shelf up in this cabinet that I just can’t reach that actually has something on it, now is there?” Swerve cried out, staring upwards as Nightbeat opened the door wider. 

Nightbeat pulled the door open wider. “Hmm… it doesn’t appear as such. Although why Brainstorm would have an empty pink cabinet here is beyond me. There has to be something it does or something he’s using it for. Here, move over. I’d like a peek inside.” 

“Suit yourself.” Swerve said with a shrug. “Tell me if there’s anything you can see up there. Oh, hey-! Maybe you can gimme a boost-! Then that way I could see too.” 

Nightbeat shrugged, stepping into the cabinet and holding the door open. “I don’t see why not.” he said, releasing the door and hoisting the mini bot up on his shoulders. 

Nightbeat didn’t notice the door swinging shut the second he had released it until it was too late, and both of the bots were stuck in the closet the second they both heard the door make a loud click.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two bots down, one to go.


	3. Chapter 3

“Well look at what you did! Ya’ got us stuck! Great, just great. Absolutely brilliant.” Swerve grumbled, glowering down at Nightbeat from his perch on his shoulders in the darkness. 

Nightbeat sighed heavily and huffed. “I doubt we’re that stuck. I mean, Brainstorm’s a smart bot. I’m sure there’s probably a knob or a latch or something we can use to open this thing up from the inside. You were probably just too short to reach it.” 

“Well then hurry up and find it. I’ve been stuck in here long enough.” Swerve muttered, crossing his arms over his chassis. 

“I’m working on it. Do you see anything from up there?” Nightbeat replied, feeling along the interior of the door to see if he could find a handle or a latch. 

“Nope. Nothing. It’s absolutely, positively, one hundred percent empty, unless of course it’s been made to conceal the fact that it’s full. It’s a shame, really. Why would Brainstorm build a cabinet like this if he wasn’t going to hide some good ol’ engex in it. Honestly, what’s a bot gotta do to get some good high grade around here?” Swerve stated.

“Is high grade all you can think about at a time like this?” Nightbeat asked, continuing to search for anything that would indicate that the cabinet was capable of opening from the inside. 

Swerve latched his servos onto Nightbeat’s helm to try and steady himself from his perch on the other bot’s shoulders as he said, “What? I was running low. A mech’s gotta find some way to party, and after the speech Magnus gave on the bridge about respecting intergalactic trade and transport policies, I needed something to jolt my processor back to life. I mean, can you blame me?”

Nightbeat rolled his optics, still searching for a way out of the cabinet. “Finding anything interesting or useful up there yet?” He asked.   
“That’s a negative.” Swerve replied. 

“Well then get down. You’re throwing off my balance.” Nightbeat huffed, raising his arms and plucking the minibot from his shoulders, setting him down on the floor of the cabinet. 

“Aw, c’mon! I kinda liked it up there! It made me feel tall and I was just enjoying the view!” Swerve protested. 

“The view of what? The complete and utter darkness of this stupid place? It’s like it’s lined with something that absorbs all light, because even my bio lights aren’t glowing in here. What kind of sick bot would come up with this kind of thing?” Nightbeat replied. 

“Huh, now that you mention it, yeah, it is actually really super dark in here. I just thought it was my optics. And I dunno, I suppose whatever kind of bot that Brainstorm is must’ve come up with it. The guy’s a self proclaimed genius, although truth be told, I think he’s a bit of a quack myself. I mean, he’s made plenty of stuff that’s made an impact on the war, but I think there was a rumor going around about his several altercations with the ethics committee. Truth be told, I think he’s a bit nuts and without a few bolts, but he’s sure fun to have at parties. Speaking of which, have you managed to find a way outta here? I have a movie night to attend to in a few joors.” Swerve chattered on as Nightbeat continued on his search for a way out. 

The yellow and blue bot eventually let out a long sigh. “I can’t find the doorknob.” he stated.

“Well then, look harder. I’m sure it’s there. I figured you’d have found it by now though. Honestly I thought you were some sort of detective.” Swerve muttered. 

“I am. I just am having trouble detecting any way that we can escape this mess.” Nightbeat huffed.

Swerve let out an exasperated groan. “Great. So you’re saying we’re stuck in this mess? Oh well. At least we’re not alone. Say, maybe there’s a few stories I can tell to pass the time.”

“Please don’t. In fact, I would appreciate it if you would be quiet.” Nightbeat sighed. “I thought I heard footsteps a little while ago, but it could have been my processor banging around inside the walls of my head in an attempt to free itself from my audials.” Nightbeat groaned. 

“You know, I’m not a medic, just a metallurgist, but maybe you should get that looked at…” Swerve said. “I knew a guy once who got the back of his head blown open once, and the second he turned around, his brain module just flopped out of the back of his head like some crude spherical ornament, just dangling there by a couple a’ neural cables. The medics managed to stuff it back in his head, but he walked funny and had a bit of a short fuse after that.” 

“Is is physically possible for you to remain quiet for just a few nano-kliks while I listen for signs of movement outside?” Nightbeat asked with an exasperated sigh. 

“Be quiet? Yeah I can be quiet. I can be super quiet when you want me to be. Won’t make a sound. You won’t even know I’m here. Why, one time I was so shocked by watching the DJD torture this poor bot that I was quiet for six months!” Swerve yammered on. 

“I’m sure that must’ve been pleasant for the people around you.” Nightbeat muttered under his breath. 

“What was that? Speak up- I can’t hear you.” Swerve requested. 

Nightbeat let out another exasperated sigh. “Nothing. Just… shut up already, will you? I’m trying to find a way out of this mess.”

“Oh, well… why didn’t you say so?” Swerve asked, going quiet for all of three seconds. “Y’know, I bet we could be a lot more effective at getting out of this predicament if we were both working together.” he couldn’t help but add. 

Nightbeat buried his face in his servos and let out a muffled little scream. “Is there anything you can do besides talk people to death?!” 

“Uhh, yeah. Plenty of things. For starters, I’m a metallurgist and I can mix drinks and I fancy myself to be a bit of a dancer and a jack of all trades, master of none. I saw that in a movie once. Did you know that human films could be quite fascinating?” Swerve replied. 

“WHY DO I HAVE TO BE TRAPPED IN THE ONLY CABINET ON THIS SHIP WITHOUT A WAY OUT ON THE INSIDE WITH THE ONE BOT WHO IS INCAPABLE OF CLOSING HIS INTAKE FOR A SINGLE NANO-KLIK-?!” Nightbeat lamented, putting his servos against the door of the cabinet and pressing his forehelm against it. 

“OH, GEE, I DUNNO?! MAYBE BECAUSE YOU STEPPED INSIDE THE CABINET AND LET THE DOOR CLOSED INSTEAD OF KINDLY LETTING ME OUT LIKE I ASKED YOU TO?!” Swerve yelled back. 

Nightbeat sighed, before he let out a light chuckle. “I suppose that’s the mystery of the hour, now, isn’t it? Figuring out why Brainstorm doesn’t have door knobs on the inside of his cabinets. I’m sure there’s a rational explanation for this. If only Brainstorm were here so we could ask him and get this over with.” 

It was at that moment that footsteps echoed outside the cabinet and a voice that sounded a bit too much like the mech in question called out, “If only Brainstorm were here so you could ask him about what?”


	4. Chapter 4

There was a loud click as the door to the cabinet opened, light spilling in on the bewildered pair of bots to reveal none other than Brainstorm, briefcase in hand, in all of his teal, white, and golden glory standing outside. 

“Oh thank Primus, Brainstorm! Just the bot I wanted to see-! How’ve ya’ been, buddy?” Swerve exclaimed, opening his arms and smiling broadly at the mech. 

Brainstorm stared into the closet, his optics meeting Nightbeat’s before they travelled down and fell upon Swerve. The scientist narrowed his optics, folding his arms over his chassis and blocking their exit, looming over them like a beacon of doom. 

“What are you doing in my conveyor cabinet?” Brainstorm asked as the door began to swing shut. He kicked out his leg and used his foot to prop it open, while still blocking their exit. 

“Ah...I can explain. See, I came in here looking for you to invite you to movie night, except you weren’t around and so I decided to explore. I couldn’t help but notice this big pink closet thingy, and naturally, I was curious as to what it was, and so I opened the door and looked in. It was kinda too dark to see much, so I decided to step inside to explore around a bit, and the next thing I know, the door’s shut and I’m inside this thing with no way out.” Swerve said, smiling nervously up at Brainstorm.

Brainstorm regarded Swerve for a moment, giving him a small nod before he raised his optics to look at Nightbeat. “And you. Why are you here?” he asked, pointing something in his left servo at the mech, which Nightbeat realized was a remote with three buttons. 

“I followed the sound of Swerve’s screaming.” Nightbeat answered matter of factly. 

Brainstorm let out a long sigh and shook his helm. “That doesn’t explain why either of you are messing around in my personal property. Can either of you read?! I put a sign on the door. It’s a very clear, very well written sign which I made sure was extra big and legible. The sign says keep out-” he said, gesturing in the direction of the sign before continuing with, “Do you bots have any idea how much danger you could have been in? For all you know, this cabinet is a geo bomb or a mind eraser or a trash compactor, or something made to magnetically turn anything inside it inside out. I even labeled it this time. I was very clear in my labeling so that everyone would know to stay out of my stuff. But no. No one has any respect for me these days. Ever since the war ended and I’ve kept my lab on this ship, everyone thinks it’s okay to come in uninvited and mess with my stuff. Guess who gets blamed when people end up getting hurt? ME! Not the idiots who thought it would be funny to try and shoot my miniature collision cannon up their afts, but ME, the person who made the miniature collision cannon, that’s who! It’s like Rodimus and Ultra Magnus think that just because I make the stuff that I’m responsible for the horrible things people get up to when using it improperly. And then when I go labelling things so that it’s extra clear that nobody’s supposed to touch em’, the first thing people do is get their hands all over em’! The labelling system was a complete and total waste of time I tell you. People have no respect these days I tell you.” 

“Look… we’re sorry, okay? Can you stop standing there and let us out?” Swerve replied, a bit startled by Brainstorm’s rant. 

Brainstorm glared down at him for a second, before he promptly answered with, “No.”

“Aw, c’mon, Brainy! It’s me, Swerve? Your friend? C’mon, please?” Swerve begged.

“I don’t have friends.” Brainstorm answered, removing his foot from the door to the cabinet and slamming it shut on the two of them before Swerve could utter another word. 

Swerve immediately began pounding on the door, and Brainstorm opened it again, regarding him with an annoyed look in his optics. 

“Stop doing that. You’ll damage the photon resistant lining.” Brainstorm stated, before slamming the door to the cabinet on the two of them again. 

“Wow...tough crowd, eh Nightbeat?” Swerve commented. 

Nightbeat rolled his optics, although it was too dark for Swerve to notice, and so his reply came back as more of an awkward silence. 

“You know that Rodimus won’t let you get away with this, right?” Nightbeat stated, folding his arms in the dark. 

“Won’t let me get away with what?” Brainstorm asked, fiddling with a few gadgets near the giant pink cabinet. 

“Whatever it is you’re gonna do to us!” Swerve cut in, followed by Nightbeat saying, “Hey, I was gonna say that, although I would’ve phrased it better.” 

“Oh, I’m not going to really do anything TO you. I’m just going to show you….” Brainstorm replied, checking over the outside of his invention. 

“Show us what, exactly? That you’re a terrible person and should be sentenced to brig time for trapping innocent bots in a… whatever this horrible thing is?” Nightbeat countered. 

“Yeah, why does it have to be so dark in here anyways?” Swerve added. 

“To absorb the radiation.” Brainstorm stated, opening the door to the cabinet and once again blocking their escape. 

“Radiation?! What radiation? Oh Primus, are you gonna kill us?!” Swerve gasped. 

Nightbeat reached out and grabbed Brainstorm by the shoulders, pulling him forward and stumbling backwards as he pulled the taller bot into the cabinet with a cry of “That’s it!” 

Brainstorm stumbled, losing his balance as Nightbeat yanked him in, Swerve tackling his legs and assisting Nightbeat in dragging the rest of Brainstorm in with them. 

“Ow-! Let go, you idiots-!” Brainstorm yelped, his optics growing wide as the last flicker of light disappeared from view with a loud click. 

“Oh frag-! Look at what you’ve done-! You did it again! And now we’re locked in here with HIM!” Swerve cried out, compacting himself against the back wall. 

“What I’ve done?! You’re the one who ignored the sign and got yourself stuck in here in the first place!” Nightbeat growled back. 

“Can you two just shut up and stop blaming each other?” Brainstorm huffed, fumbling around in the darkness. 

“Maybe if you can get your aft outta my face-!” Swerve countered, kicking his leg out in the darkness. 

“OW! Swerve-!” Nightbeat hissed, stumbling back against something hard and bumpy and cradling his injured shin. 

“Oh… sorry-!” Swerve called back. 

Brainstorm let out an awkward hum. “Uhhh… Nightbeat?” he said, tapping the bot on the shoulder from behind. 

“What?” Nightbeat grumbled. 

“You’re kinda… leaning on my chassis.” Brainstorm stated. Nightbeat immediately pulled away, tripping over Swerve in the process. 

“YEOW-!” Swerve yelped, attempting to dodge Nightbeat’s legs. 

“Your fault for being a tripping hazard.” Nightbeat huffed. “And it’s your fault for getting us into this mess in the first place, as I have stated before.”  
“I can’t help my height!” Swerve countered. 

Nightbeat scoffed. 

“Can you two stop fighting and move over so I can…” Brainstorm started, before Nightbeat jabbed a finger at him in the dark. 

“YOU! This is actually your fault, because you’re the one who made this stupid thing!” Nightbeat interjected. 

“...Press the button on the remote to open the door to this thing?” Brainstorm said, finishing his sentence. 

“AHA! I knew there wasn’t a doorknob!” Nightbeat exclaimed. 

“Well of course there isn’t a doorknob! I didn’t want the stuff I was putting in here to be able to get out-!” Brainstorm replied. 

“So you WERE putting live bots in here and sending them to their deaths, WEREN’T YOU?” Nightbeat yelled out. 

Swerve gasped, bringing his servos up to his face. “Oooh...scandalous-!”

“What?! No-! No, that isn’t what I’ve been using it for at all! Will you just shut up and let me explain myself?” Brainstorm groaned in exasperation. 

“Oh, you can explain yourself plenty to Rodimus and Ultra Magnus, but only when you let us out of here.” Nightbeat callously stated. 

“I-I’m working on it! I have the remote right here. I just gotta find the button that opens the door, which should be easy considering that they’re color coded and glow in the dark.” Brainstorm answered, before pausing for a long moment of realization. There was a sound of metal hitting metal as Brainstorm facepalmed. 

“Oh… of course...Why didn’t I think of it before… the photon resistant lining absorbs all forms of radiation...including light… which is why a glow in the dark remote would be useless against the-...” Brainstorm facepalmed again. 

It was dead silent in the cabinet for a long moment, before Swerve reached out in the darkness and gently patted what he thought was Brainstorm’s leg. 

“C’mon, speak to me, Brainstorm.” The red and white mini bot said. Brainstorm remained silent, while Nightbeat’s engine let out a small growl. 

“Swerve…” Nightbeat grumbled. “That’s my aft.” 

Swerve fell silent for a moment, his cooling fan clicking on in a desperate attempt to prevent him from overheating as he quickly pulled his servo away. The silence that was once filled by the sound of the three bots ventilating was overtaken by the whirr of Swerve’s cooling fan, followed by a loud laugh from Brainstorm as he collapsed against the wall, clutching his briefcase to his chassis. 

“...It’s not funny.” Nightbeat deadpanned, his own cooling fan clicking on albeit a bit quieter than Swerve’s. 

Swerve snorted, before he too joined in the laughter, while Nightbeat just stood there glowering in the darkness. None of them happened to notice that when Brainstorm had collapsed, he had accidentally pressed the middle button on the remote until there was a small humm coming from the walls of the closet, followed by a flash of light, and then silence as the darkness returned. 

“Uh oh…” Brainstorm stated, glancing back and forth in the dark. 

Nightbeat narrowed his optics, staring at Brainstorm. “Uh oh? What do you mean ‘uh-oh?’” he snapped. 

“I...bumped the remote.” Brainstorm replied, all mirth fading from his voice.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, Swerve...I'm pretty sure that 'KEEP OUT' does not mean 'FREE DRUGS'. Oh well. I hope he learns from this experience in the future and decides to stop snooping around in people's closets.


End file.
